ode to 32
Labels: what a drag it is getting old
DO IT TREE!
Labels: what a drag it is getting old
Greetings from sunny Dayton!
I love Netflix, but this is (earmuffs) fucking stupid (/earmuffs). In a nutshell, profiles allow theMonica and I to both enjoy Netflix. While I have 400+ movies in my queue, theMonica has her own queue under my account with which she can add and prioritize movies as she pleases. When she watches a movie from her queue and returns it, she receives another movie from HER queue. It allows her to get movies she wants to see in a timely fashion without us having to reorganize one, giant mega-queue everyday.
Next from Netflix . . .
Netflix to discontinue use of "adding machines" for movie rentals.
Citing mass customer confusion over how to use their "electricity boxes" for effective movie rentals, Netflix has announced they will no longer allow DVD rental by computer. Unhappy customers had complained of CONFUSION and DISORIENTATION caused by the bright shininess of their monitors and the WHIRRING, WHIRRING of computer internals. "Boxes make me dizzy," one befuddled Netflix users said.
Netflix suggested users pony express new additions to their queues or they could do that thing where you hitch a bag of mail to a passing-by train. Of course, if this also confuses, Netflix suggest shouting movie titles very loudly and hoping a Netflix representative hears you. One poor sould was heard roaming through the streets shouting, "CRASH!" into the night air.
When pressed for comment a Netflix representative said, "People began using their machines in unforeseen ways. Take profiles. Profiles are frightening and scary. How can one person be more than one person at the same time? That's witchcraft where I come from and we must discourage that type of behavior." He continued, "We at Netflix decided that it'd be better to discontinue the use of 'devil boxes' for movie rentals rather than being forced to boil a bunch of our customers."
Foilage and I have an uneasy relationship. It tends to make my eyes dry and itchy and I tend to hack at it with golf clubs. My contacts do not help the eye situation and this year has been particularly irritating. That's why I can't wait to get laser eye surgery. The ophthalmologist said people usually wait a couple of years before deciding whether or not to go through with the procedure, but I'm not going to hesitate. I want my eyes lasered up post haste!
Putting offers in on homes is far more nerve-wracking than I ever expected it to be. I guess my main misconception was that things moved along fairly quickly. That if you put an offer in you would hear pretty soon: yea, nay or how about this? In truth, it's not quite like that. We've put some offers in and the response is, "Uhhhhhh, yah. Let me see here. Please hold for like 36 hours." 36 hours elapse. "Hmmm, Peter, yahhh. I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you if this is your best offer?" Ok, um, no, I guess my best offer is a little better. "Ok. I'll go ahead and say I'll get back to you by end-of-business today, but in reality, I'll drag this out as long as possible while your fears and regrets rip at your very soul." Oh, sure, super.
This is an adaptation of an email I send around to friends on Fridays. Why? No real reason, just started doing it and kept at it. Because I'm lame.
theMonica and I went to see The Swell Season, which if you're not wise to Academy Award-winning (I think) songwriting, is the group who wrote the songs featured in the movie Once.
I busted out of work (with permission!) for a couple of hours today to go to another ultra-inexpensive used book sale.
Sorry folks. I am back. Apparently, Wednesday is a big off/golf day for doctors and important celebrity PR people alike. I will try to post some screenshots of my time in the sun (i.e. photographs of my tv) and my subsequent sunburn, which is somewhat itchy.