Tuesday, December 28, 2004

And you thought Roger was a cool name.

From the Economist.

"Mobutu Sese Seko, despot of Zaire, as he called Congo, gave himself a name to inspire little confidence in his marriage vows. In full, it meant 'the cock who goes from homestead to homestead leaving no hen uncovered'".

Similarly inspired, I call myself, Roger, "The Man Who Goes from bar to bar leaving no beer bottle unturned". I'm not sure what the Congolese is for that.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Amazon's judgement cometh and that right soon.

So maybe I enjoy fatty foods . . .

I was greeted with the following during a recent visit to Amazon.

HeartStart Defibrillator: A Life-Saving Device
Be prepared for sudden cardiac arrest with HeartStart. In the crucial minutes when you're waiting for the ambulance, increase the chances of saving a loved one's life with the first heart defibrillator available for home use without a prescription.

In their defense, my cookie was gone (i.e. I wasn't logged in) and they didn't "know" it was me. Though, I wonder what product searches would trigger Amazon's omniscient "watcher" suggesting a defibrillator . . . maybe this or this or this (We win!)?

Anyway, I love the “without a prescription line”. Defibrillator requiring a subscription, might hinder the whole quick-response premise of the device.

Guy Having a Heart Attack: Oh, my god, my heart’s fibrillating!
Heart Attack Guy’s Wife: Oh no! I’ll get the HeartStart Defibrillator. It’s a life-saving device and all.
>>Wife gets defibrillator.<<
Guy: Hurry up woman! This smarts.
Wife: It’s prescription only dear. I'm on hold with the doctor.
Guy: Call the insurance company to see if we need pre-approval.

Monday, December 20, 2004

And you are?

I, like most of the email world, get plenty of spam in my "personal" account. I get plenty of junk at my work address too, but that's beside the point. A lot of the names are great fun. I can only assume they are being created by some sort of dictionary based bot forever creating accounts and sending emails (I think there are whole blogs created in much the same way, in order to increase link counts?) . . . Will Smith would not be pleased. Oh, you didn't see I, Robot? Well, I only saw a few minutes but I quickly gathered that Will Smith DOES NOT want to get jiggy with any bots, internet based or otherwise.

At any rate, I plan to post some of my favorites from time to time. These are actual "senders" of emails I have received. And if you don't believe me, I swear I couldn't have made these up as I was never very good at Mad-Libs.

Here are the first few:

Rowdier T. ShackletonNotorious soccer hooligan.
Invaded V. WalleyeSick and wrong
Lover M. KnockoutThat's what she said.

Who writes this stuff?

Two fictional characters, same stupid line.

Would you say I had a plethora of ponchos?

Ponchos are back, as a fashion thing. I "get" the shaw. It's portable, doesn't have a head hole and can take the chill out of a cold breeze. The poncho . . . it covers most of your shirt? It's bib-a-liscious? Like I said, I don't get it. Maybe I have a mental block . . .

Whenever I see this:

I can't help but think of this:

He's not wearing a poncho, but you get the idea.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Isn't it for like the common good or something?


On East 4th:
"I gotta add 80 feet of goddamn handicap ramp."

Friday, December 17, 2004

Separated at Birth: Aaaayyyyyy!

Japanese superstar Hideki Matsui and Arthur Fonzarelli

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

Separated at Birth: Actors and Athletes

Severely screwed-up actress Margot Kidder and skeletoliscious Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash.

Why I oughta! Stooges extraordinaire Shemp and Moe Howard and Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui.

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