Friday!

This is an adaptation of an email I send around to friends on Fridays. Why? No real reason, just started doing it and kept at it. Because I'm lame.

You know, 6 ounces of water doesn’t look like a whole lot when it’s in a cup, but all over your desk? Well, then, it’s plenty. I mean, sure, all my important business document-type papers needed a good moisturizing, but I could have been a little more efficient with the process rather than clumsily knocking over a Styrofoam cup filled with the first day’s glass of aqua. That was a mutilation of a sentence, but I’m not going back to edit – run with me folks. Anyway, according to “college laws” spilling water all over your desk and then wiping it up constitutes cleaning, so I am good to go with that for at least 6 months. (That’s another college law: you only need to clean every 6 months. Right, time it properly and it’s only once per year. I’m smelly.)

I’m melting. You melting? I am a typical whiny bastard, you know? When it’s 30 degrees in May, I’m complaining about that. Then a week later when it’s 95 with 115% humidity (this weather system is the Pete Rose of meteorology), I’m complaining about that too. But honestly, does anyone benefit from getting swamp ass by looking out the window? No, I didn’t think so. I am especially looking forward to the wedding I’m going to on Saturday. I once sweated through the back of a suit jacket forming a giant lower-back sweat stain, which was then held up (by and ex) for all the world to see. I think I can top that though. I am going to sweat through my tie! Sweating through my tie would probably get into the sweating man’s hall of fame. I’ve been inducted via one of those sham “lifetime achievement award” deals, but this would be legit. The last frontier would be sweating through my shoes. Hey, a guy can dream.

Fyi, new contractor nickname, Cups. He’s always over getting tea or something and asking me if I know where the cups are. And then the other day I saw him pilfering some cups from the floor below mine. Ah, Cups. When will you learn that mugs are like 87 cents?

Have a sweaty great weekend!