In which I may write my last post . . .

So, I am headed back to my alma mater for my 10-year college reunion. Wrap your mind around that one folks. Amazing thing 1 is that I graduated, given how mind-numbingly lazy I was. It took me a couple of years to figure out how if I just did a little bit of work I could do pretty well at school. As I got into more advanced courses, some of them required me to actually think. I had not prepared myself for this and my grades suffered. I was a stupid kid and really were I to go back I would have done much better. The funny thing is, looking back on it, was I didn't drink that much initially. As my drinking increased, my grades improved. Don't get me wrong, I never really applied myself, but I did put forth a reasonable effort. The funnier thing is that I taught myself to program when I was a kid and when I got into MIS (Management Information Systems), it was largely "review." I hadn't used the specific languages and whatnot, but I understood how to code. The funniest thing is that neither of those previous points were really funny, maybe curious.

It's funny, again, not ha-ha funny, but I can still remember the first day I was on the internet. A buddy of ours came back from the lab talking about the "world wide web." WTFs a WWW? We went and fired up the browsers that went to Netscape.com. We eventually figured out that this wasn't the only site on the internet, but back then you did have the feeling that if there was anything worth knowing about on the web, you knew about it. Now there are probably hundreds of sites (in English) that I'd love which I'll never find out about.

They've pretty much rebuilt the entire campus since I was there. Maybe they named one of those computer labs after me or something. Then again they don't consider tution paid as a proper donation, despite my protests to the contrary.

At any rate, should you never hear from me again, I either re-enrolled, died or theMonica left me there sans internet access.

Friday!

Greetings from sunny Dayton!

That’s right folks. It has been 10 years since I should have graduated from college. But since I was in a top secret government/CIA drinking program, I went to college for *5* years and it has therefore been 9 years since I graduated. Nonetheless, a bunch of us UD alum (and some other, non-UD alum) are heading down to Dayton for some of that old-time religion. Or old-time drinking. Or “Holy crap, it’s like 4 dollars for a round of beers!” As a matter of fact, since I’m not really writing this right now (but pre-writing it on Thursday), I’m probably already drunk. Ok, I’m not drunk, I’m asleep at home, BUT I will be drunk in like 8 hours or something – sorry, I wasn’t a math major.

Here are some things I’ll be looking out for when I’m roaming around campus:

• How everything is completely nicer than it was when I was there. If you extrapolate into the past, the rate of improvement I’ve seen the last few years since I went there means that in the 80’s the students must have lived in thatched hutches and foraged for berries as part of their meal plan. It’s ridiculous.
• Actual students look like tiny little babies. I mean, it’s scary. And then they give you a ride in a golf cart and give you a beer and you think, “I am telling your mother! Whom I’m old enough to have made out with!”
• Speaking of babies, last time we were there – there was a GIANT-HEADED BABY. It was seriously like Stay-Puft baby head. So we took a bunch of pictures where the baby was in the background. But one of my buddies got trapped by the gravitational pull of his head. He’s now the baby’s man servant.
• Loose change.
  

Events like these do make me nostalgic and force me to think about how swiftly life passes. She waits for no man, as they say. More practically, I think theMonica and I will take a break from stressing about homes and just get really, really hammered. Wish my liver luck!

Have a great weekend. Come on down to UD if you’re bored.