Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What will the neighbors think? Probably that I can swear really loud.

So the Cavs' season is over. IT'S OVERRRRRR!

Oh well, they had a good run. I am sad; you are sad; we are all sad - unless we are a fan of the Magic and/or Lakers. Such is the life when you're a fan of a professional sports team. Now the long summer of our discontent and the long summer of our waiting until next summer. Fiddlesticks.

At any rate, excuse my absence. I was preoccupied with the above, planning a surprise 30th for theMonica (well, planning her arrival - Monica's cousin did most of the heavy lifting) and planning a bachelor party/best man speech. Let me tell you - getting married is 1 to 5 million times less stressful than being best man. Sheesh. The pressure's on!

What this monetize tab up on my "dashboard" or whatnot? How many thousands do I get upon striking it? I won't go to the mouse for less than 3 large.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

. . . ? means I know I'm right, but I'll humor you

I have this habit of writing emails like, "So, you shouldn't have put that code there . . . ?" I'm not really in any state of doubt about the matter, but I want it to say, "Hey, is this what the problem was?"

I think it works pretty well. It allows me to avoid full-on calling people out. Come to think of it I also use it to mean, "Here is an assertation I'm making . . . I am not stupid, am I? . . . ?" This is the modified Ben Franklin. He was smart and subtle in all things and that's what I aim to be, you big fat idiot.

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Thursday, May 14, 2009


I love you . . . even though you're going to see Dane Cook.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

sit back and imagine my sonorous tones (just assume it!)

So my wife tells me I have a voice like a chick. Ok, maybe she didn't phrase it exactly that way. She said something like, "Dude, you sound like a chick." No, no. It was like, "You have a little bit of a higher voice." And I was all, "Compared to Barry White?" I mean, wtf? Isn't that figuratively emasculating? I say, "WHHEEEEeeee!" Because that's what a little girl would say.

Actually I take solace in the fact that Lincoln was said to have a nasally, "higher" voice. The talking Lincoln doll that theMonica gave me does fit the bill. But he says cool shit like, "Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said 'the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.'"

He actually only says a sentence or two at a time, but it's all good. I thought maybe he should have come equipped with a battle ax, you know, to regulate on JWB, but, alas, it wasn't to be and all we're left with is my little girl squeal.

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Netflix: Perfect Stranger (2007)

I liked the tv show better.

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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

art of office: endearing yourself to the boss

My boss had her back turned, facing her computer when I was turning in my administration worksheet and said to: "Here's my thingie." If she expected me to be pant-less, she was sorely disappointed.

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