Canada or bust.

I will be in Toronto next week for our big hockey tourney. All of my Canadians are western Canadians, eh? Do you have a name for eastern Canadians? (Other than hoser.)

While it should be fun, I will be playing for 2 teams at the tourney. My second team's goalie got injured early in the year and I was called on to replace him.

I love playing goalie. I always have lots of fun and it's challenging and all that, but I am 34.83 years old. If both teams make the next round, I will be playing like 8+ games in 3 days.

Can one of you come and pretend to be me for a few games? You can let in as many goals as you want.

crackity jones

You know you're almost 35 when you are afraid to check on the baby because all your joints clickity-clack. Although, truth be told, I've always had cracky joints. I'm not sure why. I think I should eat shark marrow or something. Anyway, I was thinking of this when I went to reblanket sleeping Lincoln.

So, I just want to publicly call out BS on 2 billion people watching the Royal Wedding (so many horse faces! Many on horses!). That's like 2/7ths the world's population, yo. If you discount India and China because wtf do they care, that's like 2/5ths+ the world's population (India, being formerly "Britishish" may care, but I'm assuming many have no TV). There's just no way.

Now I know my Canadians were watching (and one was THERE!), but they are Canadian and have to do whatever the queen says so far as I understand. Many moons ago she dictated that all Canadians be super-good hockey players and so it was written and so it has been done. She is wise, that queen.

There is also a rumor going around that Prince WhyTheLongFace I will not be king. (It goes something like William is calling skipsies on Charles.) This is false, yes? He would have to abdicate first, no? I think this was started by the rampant popularity of The King's Speech. That or Ryan Seacrest. He is everywhere!

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