A couple of weeks ago, there was a vicious monsoon. I was at work waiting for the rain to subside so I could walk the 18 miles to my car. Well, this planned few minutes of waiting quickly turned into half an hour. Half an hour of forced (by God) overtime. No doubt He was punishing me for some hilarious transgression nicknamed upon a fellow man. Forced overtime or not, I’m not onboard with that. I quickly decided I had had enough and I made a run for it. It was really raining hard, fyi. By the time I got to my car (sans umbrella mind you) there was nary a dry spot on my person. Fun.
More fun . . . I get home and my power’s out. This is always annoying. But the level of annoyance varies depending on the circumstances. In this case, as I was soaking wet, my apartment was the equivalent of the Amazon - minus the really tall chicks. No matter. I took a quick shower ran a couple of errands and returned home. Surely I would find my power humming nicely upon my return. False. Still out. I checked with the girl downstairs; her power was out as well. Ok. Misery loves company. I checked with the pizza shop next door. Their power was fine. They run Cleveland Public Power while I roll with First Energy. I checked with the cat who lives on my porch. "MEOW." He meowed and tried to run in the house – mangy little bastard.
I went inside and sweated profusely for a few minutes and did the only sensible thing I could think of . . . went to the bar. I was a couple hours early for a previously planned event. I stayed their most of the night and left around 12:30 (am). Surely, NOW, the power would be on . . . . no.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t fathom olden times sleeping. Well, I can because I experienced it that night, but I mean olden times sleeping on a regular basis. AC is one thing, but not even having any fans (which is all I have in my bedroom anyway) is ridiculous. I guess you just got used to everyone smelling like cheese. Anyway, I would sleep for about 40 minutes and then the discomfort of all the sweat that had collected beneath me forced me to change positions. This happened a lot. I moved to the couch. I got one of those plastic cold packs from my freezer (it was still cold) and cradled that little slice of heaven like it was my firstborn child. Eventually, I determined the best place (i.e. coolest) was on the floor. So floor it was.
I’d sleep for a little bit and then wake-up. I swear to you every time I fell asleep I had a dream about the power coming back on. It was irritating. At about 4, I heard a truck. I look outside. It’s First Energy. Excellent. They work for about 20 minutes and then drive off. Uh, yah, power is still out guys, thanks a lot. I audibly cursed them from my spot on the floor. Around 6 o’clock, I got up and got ready for work by candlelight (yes, very romantic). I go through my apartment door and what does my eye spy? A light bulb shining brightly. Downstairs is back on, but I, alas, still am not.
I go to work exhausted and overheated. I honestly only went for the AC. It is glorious! Bottom line: I need electricity; I am not a cave man. Contrary to Geico, being a cave man is NOT easy. But I bet you some of those caves are refreshingly cool . . . hmmmm.
It was another day before the power came back on. Turns out there was some "loose wiring" in my apartment. For a short time my apartment and head matched, nice. In summary, the only plus to the power going out is more drinking time. And all the calories you burn while you're sleeping.
Labels: flop sweat, life