What's your dirt doin' in his ditch?

If you're waterproofing a home and you don't know Cool Hand Luke, then you're missing out on half the fun of waterproofing. Truthfully, you're missing out on the only fun of waterproofing and it in no way equals half of the waterproofing process. It's more like 10-second intervals of mild pain, bracketed by hours of excruciating, back-breaking work. The mild pain being the shoddily put-together Cool Hand Luke references.

Some time ago a buddy of mine decided that he wanted to waterproof his home. Rather than doing the smart thing and hiring a team of professionals, he instead decided to enlist a bunch of lawyers, editors, techies and otherwise unsavory characters (i.e. his friends) to do the work for him. Time out. Bad idea.

There isn't much to speak of on the actual process. I was in a hole "takin' it out" for about 10 hours. I also chopped tree roots with a very dull blade and tried to knock residual cement off the foundation. I did some mortaring, wheelbarrowing, all kinds of fun things you'd do with dirt. I got some free eats out of it and really, that's the important thing.

The next day I woke up with a deep, throbbing pain in my upper forearm, just below my wrist. Apparently there is a muscle in the arm that is only engaged when you're digging a hole for waterproofing a house - the Diggus Majorus.

The pain persisted for a few days until I was finally forced to see the doctor for x-rays. Oh no! Godzilla! All the digging must have compromised my immune system. Ouch!

After about a week, the arm was all better and my Legionnaires' disease screening came back negative. Reports on the newly-waterproofed basement are that is it moist but that the moisture isn't sufficiently concentrated enough to deem it water. So, all-in-all a big success.