correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, won't they lock me up and throw away the key?

So, you'd like to buy some coyote urine? Well, I don't know where to get it . . . from your neighbor? That's where I got it. I'm not sure why he had it, but he said it was a real pain to collect it - ZING! No, he had it to scare off critters at his cabin. Unfortunately, I have no better idea where to get coyote urine than I did before I had coyote urine.

At any rate, the trap is set. Do groundhogs enjoy celery with peanut butter? Apparently, not a ton because that's been out there for a couple of days. Also, I've found a guy who will "take care of my problem" should I trap the groundhog. This could be a mafia thing and frankly, at this point, I'm on-board. I don't have a problem with aligning myself with La Cosa Nostra on this one.

In other news, Thanksgiving at our house this year. Come check out our family room - it's goldenrod now. There is no way that was the name of the paint as it has to have been taken by an adult film star/James Bond character. Also, there is a bunch of stuff hanging where the walls had been barren. Best news yet, I haven't killed myself attempting any of these home projects. +1 for me. However, next up, moving a chandelier higher. Yes, IT'S ELECTRIC - BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE.

high school chicks . . . still laughing after all these years

I was driving home from work today and let out a ferocious yawn, uncovered. (This despite Modest Mouse's warning that "You're not invisible inside your car.") At that second, a car of high school girls drove by. The one in back looked, laughed and pointed. I don't know what was so hilarious. I did not shoot stinging bees out of my mouth or anything. I mean, listen deary, when you get to my age it's all I can do to prevent falling asleep on the way home.

At any rate, it's not anything I'm not used to. In fact it's like my trademark. Roger: Laughed at by High School Chicks Since 1990. (TM).

In other news, the groundhog lives. Soph - send me some sulphur. More on that later. I know I've left a lot of coyote urine questions, how should I say, lingering.

where there's coyote urine . . .

There must certainly be a coyote Mr. Groundhog. Yes. Yes indeed. And he just finished an all-week bender and really needs to relieve himself all over the foundation of my home.

This, my friends, is our next strategy. Coyotes apparently can get all bitey with groundhogs. This being the case, we hope that the smell of coyote urine will scare away our groundhog and prevent him from lowering our foundation with his intricate tunneling. I am not a groundhog, but this seems like compelling logic. Coyote urine = coyote. It's simple!

In a related note, coyotes need to drink more water.

some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers

So, the groundhog saga continues. We put a trap out which the next day, theMonica told me contained the DEAD groundhog. I went home to discover a LIVE POSSUM. This was unexpected. I let him go back behind our fence (which is some kind of sewer run-off area). If you've never seen a possum run, I recommend the trapping/letting it go free.

Why would the groundhog have been dead? Well, we put some rat poison in the trap. The possum wisely opted for the apple slice and leafy green vegetables rather than the poison. Possums are crafty like that, I suppose. Now I'm kind of at a loss. I suppose we will try to trap it again and then (as my friend's dad euphemistically puts it) "teach it how to swim." (Honestly, I don't know if I can pull that off).

Ceasing groundhog talk . . . here is my view of undershirts:

I wear them, frequently. You see, I was once afflicted with sweating man's disease. The name is an accurate description of the symptoms. This being the case, I would often wear a super-powerful brand of antiperspirant call Mitchum. Mitchum is essentiall superglue and plaster of paris. This being the case, if you did NOT wear an undershirt, you would soon find most of your "outer" shirts stained and effectively ruined. So now, rightly or wrongly, I continue to wear undershirts with all most all my other shirts - excepting t-shirts (might wear something with t-shirts depending on the temp). Undershirts are fascinating!