i made the baby cry

It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. He was in one of his baby chair dealies and I said something about something, in a high-pitched baby-friendly voice. And suddenly, his lower lip pulled down and started to quiver and he started to cry. And my heart broke into a million little pieces. It was horrible. I'm prepared for 16 years from now when he'll say he hates me and he wishes he was never born and all that. But when it's a 2-month old and it's spontaneous, genuine fear, it makes you wonder what kind of monster you are.

We bonded later by watching the Cavs get completely annihilated by the Celtics on their home floor. If baby's could f-bomb he would have been dropping them like the Allies over Dresden. Well, at least I was.

At any rate, my head is storing about 8 extra pounds of mucous. My sinuses are totally messed up. I think it's allergen/weather related. The weather has been fluctuating between sunny and 80 and freezing rain, usually on a day-by-day basis. I've had a beauty sinus headache all the live-long day.

More funnies later - promise!

what if I told you . . .

this blog was made by PIZZA HUT?!

<pottymouth - earmuffs! blindfolds!>
I ate a lot of bacon tonight in an attempt to soothe myself after a particularly troubling and maddening Indians loss. Why bacon? Because bacon is delicious. I was not about to eat tomatoes, which would have only infuriated me further. Seriously, the only thing that would have made me feel better would have been if Jensen Lewis were here cooking me the bacon whilst I berated him (or perhaps boxed him about the ears?) for being such a shitty pitcher and all-around asshole. Ok, ok. He had a bad day and it wasn't (entirely) his fault and he seems like a nice guy, and really it's the "trends" of the season that are upsetting me. It's kind of like when you can tell a relationship is going badly and you don't necessarily want to get the boot. You know it won't happen right away. So you try to hold on till August (when anything can happen!), but kid, it ain't happening. You can't ski the K-12.

I can't prove this statistically but the Indians fucking suck have developed a habit of "finding a way to lose." That's what the coaches are always talking about, right? If it's not the starters screwing up, it's the relievers. If it's not the relievers, it's the starters. Should they both decide to pull it together the hitting and defense go AWOL.

insert big fat Charlie Brown *sigh* here.
</pottymouth - earmuffs! blindfolds!>

<computer dorkery>
Ok. I'm over it. And now is the time for backing up some partitions on my hard drives because that's how I'm rolling with my BRAND-NEW SATA II 640GB hard drive that I have to install some stuff on so I can put the PATA hard drive in the tv box machine. What is the tv box machine? It's this Frankenstein of computers that I put together so I could watch Netflix instantly at a higher quality than what s-video offered. So far so good, but I fear I might have wireless throughput issues. Watch this space for further updates!

I hope Larry reads this post or those exciting insights will totally fall on blind eyes or whatever.
</computer dorkery>

I also partially cross-posted this at Draft Day Suit. I don't post there enough because I'm lazy/figure people can only take 1 or 2 of my whiny monologues per year.

boredom awaits you!

Roller hockey season started last night. FAIL. 7-5. I didn't play too badly. The transition from ice to sportcourt (or whatever they call that stuff) is a somewhat difficult one. I'll get 'em next week, I promise.

All of this was uneventful, really. Except at one point, I shrugged or something and pulled a muscle in my neck. Have you ever done this? I call it the "pump fake" muscle because I've pulled it before whilst being overzealous in my attempts to lose a defender. Is this what whiplash is? Yowzer. Naturally I did that in warm-ups, so I had a pain in the neck for the game. But afterward, when it tightened, I felt like a robot. Must move head with torso.

It woke me up a few times when I, you know, moved. Never have I needed a hot water bottle more. And all day today I would forget that my neck was busted and I would turn my head. Ouch. And it got me to thinking of that Brady Bunch episode where the guy sues the Bunch for a car accident or some such. During the trial, the kids figure out he's faking it and slam a briefcase on their table. Guy turns his head; ipso facto, he is now a PROVEN faker. All day I was that dude, "What's the behind me?" Gah! That dude got a raw deal.