Netflix: Grey Gardens (1975)

When I read the synopsis for Grey Gardens, I was pumped. I’m a fan of documentaries and this seemed right up my alley. 2 crazy old ladies (mother and daughter) live in a dilapidated mansion and spend their time tending to multitudes of cats and raccoons. Certainly, they MUST be interesting. Right?

Well, no. They are eccentric. I'll give them that, but they are not interesting and I found the movie barely watchable. As a matter of fact, you can just phone in the eccentric thing. There are actually some rules. Allow me to illuminate:

1. Be interesting.
2. Don’t fucking sing all the time.
3. Speak in turn. They were incessantly talking over each other and squealing at the camera.
4. Lose the creepy painter kid. (Eccentrics always have a creepy painter kid hanging around.)
5. Put some clothes on for god-sakes.

Ok, that list didn't apply so much to all eccentrics, just these two in particular. If you go to the Netflix page and read the reviews (or read professional reviews) they'll shovel a load of BS about "This is a fascinating study of family relationships, of interdependency and the effects of social isolation, even if that isolation is incomplete and voluntary." (Jill in Idaho). Blah blah. Basically, lovers of the film are telling you, "They didn’t used to be old! They were younger – and betterer looking! It's crazy! Look at them now! They are older and nostalgic."

I suspect you could go to your local watering hole and hear more of the same, except more interesting and you'd more likely be drunk. And trust me. After 15 minutes you'll want to be drunk - really, really drunk.

despite the fact I really have to pee

Well, theMomica has finally acquiesced and admitted the baby looks like me. She still contends that the baby has her "eye shape." I mean, talk about a reach! Is eye shape even a recognized facial feature. Doubtful. What I always tell her is that he looks like me and thank God he's a boy. Because, really, I'd be an ugly boy. I'm tellin' ya straight.

At any rate, baby is good - thanks for asking. Your life kind of revolves around the little guy. Who knew? Well, we all do. Now I think since I'm a little older and a lot of my friends have kids I was ready for the whole "life changing" thing. But honestly, I don't feel any different per se. I mean, there's this tiny man that I love with all my heart, but otherwise I didn't change at all. I didn't have any sweet skills descend on me. Like I can't shoot bees out of my mouth or anything. So, I guess I never had the IT CHANGES EVERYTHING moment.

Anyway, I've been spending most of my non-baby/work time playing sports and reading. I wish he was old enough to take/enjoy. Actually, take that back. If I'm going to tell him I was pro, I can't have him with any legit memories about the incredibly slow pace of play I demonstrated.