Saturday, September 03, 2005

back to the past

Sometime in 1990 . . .

Girl: Mom, what's the ethnic distribution of Ghana?
Mom: I don't know dear.
Girl: Well, how do I find out?
Mom: You could go to the library and look in an encyclopedia, see if it's in there.
Girl: I did already, no luck. Besides, the encyclopedias were five years old.
Mom: Did you ask any of your teachers at school?
Girl: I annoyed them so much about it they said, "If you don't shut up, I'm Ghana give you a detention."
Mom: Oh dear. Maybe you could find the number for the Ghanian Embassy and ask them.
Girl: Where is the Ghanian Embassy?
Mom: I'm not sure sweetie.
Girl: Thanks anyway mom.

The point of my little story is to demonstrate how powerful the internet is. Not powerful like a jet engine, but powerful like knowledge deluging. The oddly curious girl in our story would now, 15 years later, sit at her desk and maybe check out the CIA World Factbook to find that 16% of Ghanians are Moshi-Dagomba.

How did people find stuff out back then? The sheer difficulty of searching for these types of answers must have deterred all but the most determined of inquisitors. I was never one of those people. I was content to wallow in my own stupidity. I didn't know much, but I did get a lot of sleep.

I was thinking of this when I was looking at my Sitemeter stats. Sitemeter is a web service that counts how many people come to your website. In and of itself, not very compelling information since I figure I'm 80% of my own visitors. Sitemeter also tells you where the visits are from. This is where it gets interesting.

Of random visitors to the blog, some get here from search engines. I get a good number of visitors looking at my Planet of the Apes image . And a few take a gander at Brooks. But overwhelmingly, the most frequent search that shows up in my stats is "jlo's ass." Why? you ask. Well, I once wrote a whole thing about jlo's ass. (Before you click through, I should warn you - you will see no booty on that page. It's one of my stupid, imaginary celebrity news stories.)

Certainly, my story is about jlo's ass. While the internet is powerful, it is also easily confused, because if you were searching for jlo's ass and you came here, you would surely be disappointed. You don't want to read about jlo's ass personified; you want to SEE jlo's ass. My blog has nary a cheek of jlo's in sight. For that, I'm sorry. And maybe this will make it all better. I give you . . . jlo's ass:


Blogger High Desert Diva said...

This makes me think of that IBM commericial with that poor little girl that doesn't get to go to school because she lives "on a farm in China". I must say that she must receive some absolutely outstanding home schooling because not only does she speak perfect English, but she also has a pretty good California accent goin' on .

BTW: ...looking at your jlo pic...I think that crazy peanut residue has struck again.

10:28 AM

Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

I'm still emotionally scarred from the time, a few weeks ago, when someone from my home town found my blog by searching for "bulge in dad."

By the way, that original artwork?

5:12 AM

Blogger roger said...

HDD: She does look like she may be having a reaction.

NYM: It's this very avant-garde bitmapping technique where I took a photo of jlo's ass and painted over it. I thought it would look better that way, but the original freehand looked almost the same.

8:54 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I really like your blog! I have a sony laptop related site. It is a forum site for sony electronics. Feel free to post if you have time.

9:13 PM

Blogger Joe said...

Wait, this blog isn't about JLo's ass? Life just gets a little worse every day...

Saw the big Casey Blake error this weekend and I couldn't help but think about you cursing him at the top of your lungs as you watched it.

8:26 AM

Anonymous rs2 said...

Ahhh R...your heroine should have made friends with her local librarian...but people want to "do it themselves..."

8:32 AM

Blogger nukie310 said...

Most Excellent Roger!

I'm glad to see that some bloggers are getting creative!

10:22 AM

Blogger roger said...

Anonymous: Sony laptops blow. Go HP! (fyi, I'm turning on that image/comment verification dealie. Sorry, but spam comments annoy me inproportionally to the number I receive.)

Joe: That's my side project. And Casey Blake . . . yah. He's not smart . . . or good . . . or handsome. Nice guy, but I'm not a fan.

RS2: Sis, there's a 40% chance your local librarian is an angry cat lady and will direct you to the world almanac. Besides, as far as I know, the library doesn't make 3 a.m. house calls (that's when I gather all my Ghana info.)

Nukie: Thanks. Crude drawings are my speciality.

4:31 PM


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