punny

I was at a baseball game with my buddy and we were enjoying some peanuts. (Don't even THINK of sending me the unsalted kind - that's right. Time to repack the care package.) My buddy grabbed a three-chambered peanut out of the bag and said, "Dude, look at this peanut!" All excited and amazed as if he had pulled a supermodel out of the bag. And I said, "What? Do you have peanut envy?"

. . . (just giving you time to wipe the tears away and refocus your eyes) . . .

You can't write this stuff people. Remember to tip your waitress.