DO IT TREE!

Monday, August 01, 2005

woe is blog

My blog is a wholesale failure. I’ve been blogging for over a year now and so far returns have been minimal.

My expectation was that by now my blog would have:

  • made me famous.
  • made me rich.
  • yielded me a cadre of sleazy sycophants forever looking to take advantage of my aforementioned fame and fortune.
  • dated a Hollywood starlet and gotten involved in a heroin scandal of some kind.
  • started a pizza night for us.
  • gotten on board with the chore-sharing plan I devised.
  • gotten a voicemail from Pat O’Brien.
  • written a play that appeared off-off Broadway.
  • gotten arrested.
  • sold out to a major corporation requiring me to include in every post the phrase, "straighter than my spine lying on a Sealy Posturepedic Mattress. ®"
  • won the World Series.
  • cleared up my jaundice.
  • married JLo.
  • won an eating contest.
  • learned to post on its own.
  • appeared on Entertainment Tonight at least once.

It’s not that I’m mad at my blog, just disappointed.

8 Comments:

Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

Dont know why this won't post, but check out this link:

http://www.minjungkim.com/?p=2675

4:07 PM

 
Blogger Everything Nice said...

No worries, I thought we would be rich and famous too.

You don't really want to marry JLO do you?

And if you do get a voicemail from Pat O'brien, could you forward it to me so I can say he called me too?

We can be miserable together.

6:35 PM

 
Blogger roger said...

NYM: That is so true.

Sugar&Spice: Not me, I thought my blog would have at least had a little rendezvous with JLo. It's into Jenny from the block.

On the plus side, my blog has developed a nasty coke habit. Go Blog!

11:47 PM

 
Blogger Jen said...

"learned to post on its own" - that's a hilariously good one. Yeah, these blogs tend to be a bit too clingy and dependent on us don't you think?

I thought hate mail might be a consequence from having a blog. It turns out I need fame first.

7:23 AM

 
Blogger Joe said...

They're always a disappointment, Roger. I find it's best to give them a little freedom and let them figure things out on their own.

This post made me laugh more than I care to admit. Too funny.

And, by the way, we're all a little insulted that you don't consider us a cadre of sleazy sycophants.

12:00 PM

 
Blogger roger said...

I left my blog alone all weekend and it did not post once. WTF? They simply can't be trusted to put the material out there on their own.

5:42 PM

 
Blogger DC said...

Oh, I gave up on my blog for a while. But if you do get married to JLo, tell me. I'd like to know how the heck she got that huge butt! Or is it fake?

2:34 PM

 
Blogger roger said...

Nydia - be sure your blog didn't badmouth you while you were neglecting it. They tend to have a mean streak.

2:52 PM

 

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