makin' the medicine go down

Last week and this, some kind of sugar fairy has been flying into my office and leaving delectible treats: one dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts, boxes of mini- powdered and chocolate covered doughnuts, some weird ass pecan pie type deal which is filled with a pecany-pecan penetrated philling (I don't know why I do it) and various other sugary treats. Why? I'm not sure. I think some of my co-workers did something good this week or last or had to work late or something and they were celebrating and sharing the celebration with us. As you know by now, the underlying theme of this blog is that I'm lazy so you can guess I have expended 0 time or energy in pursuing the source of these Caligulian confections.

A co-worker and I were discussing the treats. He's in good shape while I, if shirtless and in a chef's hat, would surely be mobbed and poked by children and be forced to sign autographs as, "P. Doughboy." Despite our physical differences, we both agreed that the presence of the snacks, while delicious, were somewhat of a problem because, hey, we don't want to gain like 50 pounds this week. That's when inspiration struck:

me: My new strategy is to eat all the food so it's not there to tempt me any longer.
he: That's a good strategy.
me: It's genius!

Today I've consumed 9,350 calories which includes 2,400 grams of sugar. I'm confident I can top that tomorrow.