Happy Birthday Roger-Bloger!

It was a year ago today that I posted my mission statement. I would say I've remained true to it, up until yesterday when I started posting out of a sense of moral responsibility and indigestion.

Also one year ago today, due to poor strategy, I wrote the best post satire I'm capable of about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It wasn't timed well as at that time only theMonica and I were readers of the blog. But they always say, write even when no one's looking - or is that dancing?

I got my first comment four months later from some dude fishing for links. I imagine he randomnly found the blog; tried to get into my good graceds with flattery (good strategy); then wanted me to link to his site about college basketball. Well, Yoni, I'm lazy and, save March Madness, I couldn't care less about college basketball. Besides, he didn't really read my blog and if he's not here suffering every day like the rest of us, he doesn't deserve a link. It's a shame he was my first comment. It's like losing your virginity to your second cousin. Sure it was fun, but it's still wrong. (First cousins are for flipper babies.)

Months later I got my first REAL comment. And now here or no where still reads the blog! Joe, also still reading, first commented here. After these comments, I started to feel the crushing pressure of 3-person readership. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to read this blog, let alone comment, let alone them being strangers. So I'm glad I've been able to keep you coming back for so long (in internet years). I can only attribute my retention of your attention (all of you) to my own good luck and your ability to surf the web at work. Seriously, you must have sweet cube locations. Mine sucks. Everyone can see me typing this post right now. That's why I don't usually post at work. That and the mind crippling guilt. Anyway, thanks for reading and I appreciate all the comments.

Going through the archives, this is probably my favorite post. Maybe because I hate Michael Jackson so much. By the by, feel free to peruse the archives, if you haven't. Not that you need my permission, I'm just saying there's some good stuff there - plenty of crap too. (But it's still better than the stuff I started writing after I sold out.) And there's not a whole lot of it as my standards were MUCH higher then and I didn't post nearly as often or nearly as much about hoboes. Go ahead. I'll wait . . .

In less sanguine news, according to the National Network for Child Care, my baby is not up to snuff. The site says at this point in its development my blog should be doing a number of things it's incapable of. It does not: dance or bounce to music, say da-da (it hurts blog, it really does), clap hands or wave bye (prompted or otherwise), my blog is grossly underweight and refuses to place objects inside one another. On the plus side, my blog is able to pay attention to conversation and it does like to watch itself in the mirror.

All-in-all, I think my blog is going to be all right. Thanks for reading and many happy returns.