Adventures in Spam Email Senders IV

Unknown Relatives to the Stars Edition

Sampling J. Goering	Credited with inventing DJ'ing, Sampling was well-known throughout 30's Germany. Frenzied crowds would Lindy Hop the night away as Sampling cranked out current hits on his two Victrola Talking Machines. Unfortunately, Sampling couldn't find a gig once Hermann sullied the family name.
Raymundo Andrews	What happens when Julie Andrews has a steamy affair with her immigrant gardener? The shrubs are alive with the sound of gettin' it on. Nine months later, little Raymundo is born and takes his mother's name.
Ninth F. Nietzsche	After naming their first nine children numerically, the Nietzsches decide to break the mold and name their tenth child Friedrich. Friedrich's profound sense of self allows him to break away from his underachieving siblings and become an independent thinker. Ninth goes on to an unfulfilling career in symphony naming (the worst part is it took me about 15 minutes to think of that).
Cristina Crockett	History tells us little of this "Queen" of the wild frontier. Early experimenting with transgender activities transformed erstwhile Cris into Cristina. But olden-times liquor was strong and some frontiersmen went into meetings with Cristina a little less informed than they would have preferred. Davy died at the Alamo defending the honor of his little "sister".
Melba Bolton	Poor Melba Bolton. Early in his career she labeled her cousin, Michael Bolton, a "no talent assclown" and often told him to cut his ridiculous hair. Little did she know that Michael would hit it big time during the "No Talent Ass Clown" musical revolution of the early 90s. Bolton rode that wave along with equally miserable recording artists such as Mariah Carey, MC Hammer and Celine Dion. Melba's earlier insults scarred Michael and drove him to deny Melba any part in his powerful corporate empire.