moe szyslak

Is a contractor that sits next to me. WorkBuddy left work, leaving me buddiless (at least in terms of him) and his cube occupantless. I so lonely. I have another workBuddy, but I'm not sure if he's ready to be bestWorkBuddy. These things take time and a deft hand (there is an obstacle course, written exam, drinking portion), neither of which I have as the black cloud of melancholy hovers over my cube.

At any rate, the body was not yet cold when the new contractor moved in. This guy only looks like Moe from one side. The side on which he claims he was run into by a bike (the kind you pedal). He has the hugest shiner/tumor above his left eye, creating a very pronounced residual crest. I have a small gap between a pillar and the cube wall through which I can view the little shop of horrors that is his face. And view I have. Every couple of minutes - peek-a-boo! It's grotesque, really, but damn is it intriguing. It's sure to be a special on TLC anyday now. "The Girl with Radioactive Pigtails," "The Man Who Ate Half of Nevada," "The Contractor Whose Face Exploded." I am contacting their producers today.

Anyway, reference the picture below for an idea of what I'm looking at here . . . spectacular.