birthdays

My office has one of those planning people. She wants to organize luncheons and little outtings for our group. My rule is if I'm getting pizza out of it during work hours, I'm on-board. Otherwise, not so much. Anyway, she's starting to get into celebrating people's birthdays. She puts a balloon in their cube. Then she started passing around birthday cards to sign. When I got the cards (the three people born this month) it really annoyed me. I mean, we are co-workers. We can go get drinks every once in awhile; we can share a deli tray. Giving each other birthday cards seems a little too cozy to me.

At any rate, here was what I wrote in the cards:

• Happy Birtday - I knew you could do it!


• Don't fear the reaper!


• Tick-tock, tick-tock. Childless at 38? "Time" to start worrying!

Ok, if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know I didn't actually use any of those. Well, I used the first one, but that's it. This was an easy quiz people. Someone that gives 15% of his income to hoboes doesn't go around talking bad about lonely cat women. It's just not in his nature. If I were meaner, I'd be rich.

Since I can't seem to get through a post without talking about the Cavs, there is an evil woman here. She was talking to a couple of us this morning and she was saying she couldn't wait until LeBron leaves Cleveland so she could email all the TV stations and say (basically), "Nonny nonny boo hoo." Why do people say these things to me? As if I don't have enough to worry about and try to control with my mind. You know why you're about to comment? I'm controlling your mind. Ha! You don't even know if I'm devilishly handsome. At any rate, tonight's the night of game 6. I've burned in a few ulcers. Wish me luck. Even if you want the Pistons to win, you should not want me to die of a massive coronary. That wouldn't be nice.