Thursday, August 18, 2005

an american legend

Patrick Swayze turns 53 today. That beautiful hunk of man won me over as soon as I laid eyes on him starring as Darry Curtis in The Outsiders.

Then he nearly single-handedly saved this country during a Red Dawn. Who protected us from the invading mongol-Cuban-Russian hordes? Patrick Swayze that's who. Where was Kurt Russell? I don't know. Don't see him. Where was Jeff Bridges and his chubby brother Beau? Hanging out with their dad, sitting around being famous undoubtedly. Where was C. Thomas Howell? Oh wait, he was there. He and Pat ready to lay it on the line for their country. Patrick Swayze, true American hero.

I never knew a man could move like "that" until I saw Dirty Dancing. You thought Elvis could "shake that thang". I scoff! Patrick Swayze is the finest dancer in the history of the world! Nobody puts Patty in a corner!

Who could forget his angelic stalking of Whoopi Goldberg in the otherworldly Ghost? Man, I never wished I was a hunk of clay more. Ditto to you Pats.

He taught Keanu Reeves everything he knows and a bunch of stuff he didn't understand in 1991's Point Break. Johnny Utah was nothing without Bohdi and you know it.

And who could forget that glorious mane as Pat kicked some serious po-dunk ass in the venerable rootin'-tootin' classic Road House. Is Road House the greatest film ever made? I think TBS thinks so.

Then Swayz was convincingly creepy as a child pornographer in the surrealist cult classic Donnie Darko. I don't have a lot to say about Pat in this one - other than that his hair was insufficiently mullety in this movie. Let's feather and poof Hollywood hairdressers. Feather and poof.

Through it all, Patrick Swayze has given his all in every performance and for that we owe our thanks. God Bless you Patrick Swayze. I had the time of my life.


Blogger Braleigh said...

Haha! This is a GLORIOUS post! But Patty is quite hurt and angered that you overlooked his portrayal of Pecos Bill.

It was an awful film.

6:24 PM

Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

Patrick Swayze is disgusting.

11:24 AM

Blogger roger said...

I'm glad to see some people around here appreciate all my Patrick Swayze research.

4:09 PM


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