do you want to know a secret?

When I created this blog, I told exactly one person - theMonica. At that point my total number of readers was 1, me. theMonica was not sold on the whole thing, telling me that I couldn't make her laugh in person anymore, so really, what were the chances of me being funnier on the internet? I said 3 to 1 against. She did not like the odds.

Since then, I've told an additional handful of people about it. Of those five or six, I think four still read it (plus me hourly!). Why the secrecy? Well, if you look in the "wayback machine" you'll see that the early, EARLY entries are pretty crappy and irregularly posted. Irregular crap isn't something you want to shout about from the rooftops. ("Irregular crap," I shout. "Prune juice," the masses reply.) I also wasn't sure if I was going to continue blogging or if I would give up and fail as I tend to do on most of my projects (3-week masters in psychology, I'm looking at you).

Gradually, other people happened here. I assume by "Next Blogging" (via the toolbar dealie at the top). Addtionally, I assume they were drinking that day and decided to come back again later. And then one day I'd get a comment or two and go, "Whoah. How did that happen?"

Almost a year later, here I am with ones of regular readers. There I was Tuesday at a bar when RS2 (Roger's Sister #2 [of 4] - her "real name" is Rhonda) let my secret out by calling Monica, theMonica. Ooops. The next thing you know, everyone knew I had an "on-line diary". (I contend it's not an on-line diary as I have NEVER started a post with "Dear Blog". In fact, this blog has few diarrhetic, err, diary-like qualities - yah, not sure what's with the potty humor today.)

Now, more judging eyes. I don't feel the pressure from my blogging friends, because they can't give me the cold, hard stare of disappointment in real-life. Not so with people I regularly interact with physically. How will I handle all the mocking? We'll just have to wait and see. Until then, I promise more of the same. Yah, it's not going to get any better.