Monday, May 16, 2005

the continuing saga

Culkin offers stunning testimony in Michael Jackson trial.

MC Wire Reports: Santa Maria, California
Macauley Culkin offered little in the way of new evidence in Michael Jackson's trial yesterday. Instead he insisted that Jackson never acted inappropriately and that claims of Jackson molesting him were "completely ridiculous".
Culkin had fond memories of Jackson dressing him as Tarzan and having him make his "mean face" to Michael as he snapped pictures for his "special super-secret photo album". This was in addition to the pillow fights and the frequent pajama-clad "hanging out" on Jackson's bed. Culkin seemed perplexed by the line of questioning from the prosecution. He asked the courtroom, "Doesn't every 8 year-old's parents let him hang out with a single, incredibly weird man who calls his home Neverland Ranch and owns various undomesticated animals and lives with them as if they're human? Clearly if he didn't molest the Home Alone kid, he must be innocent."

Jackson also persuaded Culkin to distrust outer beauty and to look for the beauty inside Jackson's pants. His influence was so significant that he persuaded Culkin to undergo a series of fugglying plastic surgery procedures, just as Jackson had done.


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