may all your drinks be alcoholic

My Peoples!

How is everyone? Super? Super!? Super!! I am well and getting ready to start a weekend of binge drinking. Ok, maybe not so much as I used to be able to, but, you know, I'm like the wily veteran wide receiver . . . biding my time, interspersing water with beer and the next thing you know - BOOM! - I'm drunk!

Ok, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I do know that vanity plates are stupid. Especially stupid are vanity plates that somehow incorporate the model of the car. Like: RIKS VETTE or TEDS AMCEAGLE OR KTS CONVERSIONVAN. I'm all, "Hey, I can read that you drive a Mercury Sable right there on the back of your car - no need to tell me again via license plate." And there all, "Yah, but I had $75 burning a hole in my pocket so WTF?" WTF? is right.

Oh, I have to write a birthday card. I mean, not write one like write one: Dad you are special. Not to say special like as a euphemism for being somehow disabled mentally. But to me you are different than other dads. Maybe better. No, I just have to fill one out. And I better get my game face on and write something funny because, let me tell you, the "nephew" birthday card section leaves a little something to be desired. Apparently, you are supposed to stop giving your nephew bday cards at about 8 (or until they don't like Scooby-Doo). I will have to inform him as he's well past that age.