Wednesday, July 29, 2009


So, I was at this bar on Friday after the Irish Fest. (Think cheapish beer and trying to avoid absorbing any Irish music.) And they had this funny little contraption that had two spigots coming out on either side and one of our friends (the alcoholic one) goes, "Hey, they have absinthe!"

Now, I've never had absinthe, but it's a completely convoluted process. First you have to buy some sugar cubes. Don't try to press together a packet or anything, get a box that has them pre-assembled. This is key. Then you take the sugar and put it on a spoon/spatula dealie. Pour the absinthe over all that and into the glass and then light it on fire! Then you put the sugar cube in the glass and mix vigorously. Finally, use your fancy two-spigoted contraption to pour water in the absinthe/sugar cocktail. (Apparently, the water process is supposed to take days, but here it was seconds.)

After like half an hour, we got our drinks and the bartender says, "Whatever you do, don't shoot it." Now, I have a rule. I shoot mystery drinks. If I don't know what something tastes like (but I know it's not going to be pretty), I shoot it. Bang! Bang! That's my motto. No smelling, no contemplating. You're only making it worse. Just down the hatch. "We can't shoot it?" "Unless you don't want to remember anything that happens."

My understanding was that I was going to be have some wicked hallucinations, so, maybe they'd be scary and I wouldn't want to remember what was about to happen. Besides, I'd been using beer to drown out the brutal pennywhistle ear rape I was subjected to for the past 4 hours; I was already playing dice with the night's memories. To top it off, I have my "Shooter" McGavin rule. But, I decided to be cautious and took a sip. Holy worse than Jager. Yes, some sort of liquefied licorice, but worse. No way I was pinky sipping that swill. So I shot the rest.


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Blogger Soph said...

Who's the boss? Not Tony Danza!

12:07 AM

Blogger May-B said...

New best friend for quoting Reality Bites. Nicely done, Soph.

Sorry, Roger. You're funny too.

10:11 AM

Anonymous Dana said...

Never be fooled. Any bar in the 'ol U.S. of A. will not have true Absinthe.

"Real" absinthe has wormswood (i think) or some other such sort of potentially deadly toxin in it - which is what causes the hallucinations. And is also illegal like whoa.

And really, its not until the 2nd or 3rd drink that you start having the hallucinations. (Or, well, I started having hallucinations).

The U.S. stuff tastes like GROSS (there is no other way to put this). The overseas stuff is still minty and strong, but without the ass.

Yours in alcoholism,

6:05 PM

Blogger Ria said...

Aw, I'm so... excited... to have been referred to in a blog...
In spite of rumors about US vs. European absinthe, I think it's all hype. They tasted very similar to me and I think the hallucinations are bologna. I have to admit my memory was a bit hazy that night - but I think it had more to do with the 37 beers than the half an ounce of absinthe.

11:07 PM


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