Friday, January 30, 2009

things that annoy me (a partial and in-process list)

  • People telling me, "I'm bored." As if I'm a tv show and they can flip me to something more entertaining. Well, ya can't, because you're too cheap to pay for good cable.
  • Hoboes. Lord knows, interacting with them has yielded loads of blogstuffs, but honestly, they can irritate.
  • People that aren't funny but think they are. Invariably they are loud and command a lot of attention while they're telling their "not very funny" jokes. After the punchline is delivered they will laugh -- loudly and everyone else is forced to chuckle - awkwardly. That's why I usually like to go deadpan. Nobody knows if you're trying to be funny or not, nobody laughs and everybody's happy.
  • Nazis. Everything's not "nazis." Soup nazis, feminazis, YahtzeeNazis . . . honestly, could we euphemize some other group of really evil people?
  • When someone can't remember your name and you tell them and they say something like, "That's right!!" No shit? Thanks for the heads up.
  • Friends/acquaintances for whom you buy a drink and they are maniacally obsessed with buying you a drink in return. To the point where if they can't repay you that night, they'll mention it later like, "Hey, I still owe you a drink." This annoys me because if for some reason my arms are completely non-functional or gone and I'm unable to beat you through a round of beers and you're going back up to the bar, I'll let you buy me drinks all night. I'll get really drunk and I'll forget it ever happened. That's just how it is. I'm of the opinion that these things tend to balance themselves out . . . especially with all these "beer accountants" hovering around making sure the assets match the liabilities.
  • A corollary to the above. People whom you lend money who go pawn something because it's closer than their ATM, just to pay you back immediately. Relax. I know where you live.
  • People who aren't smart, but think they are (hey, I know I'm not). GrammarNaz Khmer Roguers are a particularly irksome bunch. Most of the time someone that goes around correcting people's grammar is wrong about their corrections - a lot.
  • Comic strips. The idea is to be funny, yes? 99% = FAIL.
  • When I can't get a staple properly aligned on a page. Where properly = what my mind arbitrarily dictates - one of my few OCD ticks. I'm also oddly particular about pencil tip points. Weird. I can go weeks without washing my hands.
  • The fact that everyone complains about "other people" not being able to drive when the weather's bad. Some of you have to be part of the problem. I suck at driving when the weather's bad. As soon as I seen a snowflake I shriek and throw my hands over my eyes. I may or may not slam on the brakes - just depends on my whimsy.
  • People asking me questions which if they took 8 seconds out of their day to research they could figure out themselves.
  • Hidden CD Tracks. Either the song sucks or it doesn't. It's up to you to decide. Even more annoying is when you like the song, but they don't place it at the beginning of the skip-to track. So you have to ffwd through 15 minutes of white noise or a bubbling brook or some incoherent 4-year old just to get to the song. That's stupid . . . and annoying.
  • When people append, ". . . and that's a good thing" to 90% of what they say. "I won 50 bucks playing bingo and that's a good thing." Yes, I can tell from the context of the story and the silly look on your face that that's a good thing.
  • Sharing. theMonica can attest to the fact that I'm not a huge fan of sharing especially my drinks and/or feelings. No, I'm not too bad with my feelings, but drinks, c'mon! That's my Diet DP!
  • Napolean Dynamite.
  • The fact that the refs can't hear me swearing at them. Why should I look like a crazy person, screaming at a TV when they're the idiots?
  • How impossible it is to get the last 10% of lotion out of its container. My hands are dry and damaged. I need that moisturization!
  • American Idol - has this ship not sailed?
  • A.) Partial RSS feeds. The whole point is that I don't have to go to your stupid website every time you post. Geez. B.) read more . . . links - ooohhhhhh your site is too special to have complete entries on the front page. This doubly annoys me because 90% of the time I'm only actually on the site because of A). Let me see it ALL and now!
  • Tomatoes. I feel I've been very clear on this.
  • Sasha Pavlovic (not worth researching if you don't know what I'm talking about and it'd take more than 8 seconds).
  • People doing work that requires me to remain in the office for them to complete it. This is especially annoying when these people decide to start the task like 2.5 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, on a Friday, when I'm going to happy hour and thereby force me to write blog posts.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

roger, it's "wrong about they're corrections."

ps. That was a joke. Chuckle awkwardly now.

6:39 PM

Blogger Queen of West Procrastination said...

Regarding unfunny comic strips: you might appreciate the Comics Curmudgeon. (Original title: "Josh Reads the Comics so you don't have to.")

Regarding everythingNazis: Thank you for saying that. (Speaking as a German historian.)

And sharing is for suckers.

12:55 AM

Blogger May-B said...

Phew. I thought the link on people who think they are funny was going to lead to me and I almost cried. But I'm good now.

Also, I hate Napoleon Dynamite. It wasn't funny.

10:52 PM

Blogger LynnieC said...

We've given up on Canadian Idol. Hopefully the Americans will figure it out and end it soon.

But not before Danny Gokey wins.

10:35 PM

Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Further proof you are in fact funny?

1) Grammar Khmer Roguers


2) Linking to yourself on people who aren't funny but think they are.


3) Cut throat Roger. I miss that guy.

9:48 AM


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