Tuesday, October 23, 2007

an expletive-filled rant

would have filled this space were I to have written yesterday. You see, my beloved Cleveland Indians lost to the asshole-ish Boston Red Sox (hmm, I can't seem to find any links) in the ALCS on Sunday night.

Here at Marginally Clever, I know my audience. I know my audience is made of mostly western Canadian women. Western Canadian women who (if their blogs are any indication) don't have much appreciation for sports obsession.

theMonica, is much the same (though I am slowly warping her). I mean, logically, there is no reason for me to drop f-bombs all over - "You fakking idiot. You're so fracking stupid! AflacDucker!!" - seemingly randomly, but actually controlled by really, really stupid baseball players. Granted this is reserved almost exclusively for playoff games, but still, even for me it is a bit much. Such is the rage, but that subsides and when the losing comes, the depression begins.

In an attempt to explain, the best analogy I can think of is that a sports team is like a pet dog. Maybe you trained him to do cool shit (fetch beer) and when he fails that surely angers you. Ok, you probably wouldn't swear at it, but you do get mad when your dog does dumb things. So there's that.

Then your team loses and is done playing for the season. Basically, on Sunday, my dog died. So I'm sad. I'm always sad when my dog dies, but this dog was with me a lot longer than the past, say 10 dogs. So it hurts all the more. My sadness is mitigated somewhat by the fact that I know my dog will return next April from the Pet Sematary that is the new baseball season. Sure, maybe it'll turn out that the new incarnation of my dog isn't as good as my dog this year and maybe next year's dog will cut my achilles tendon when I'm searching for him under the bed and say ominous things like, "First I played with mommy. Now I want to play with yooouuuuuu." But by God he'll be my dog and damnit, I'll love him all the same. But I will not name my dog Gage.

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Blogger Soph said...

I feel for you Roger.

I've never seen Lair so upset about a loss - I can only imagine how pissed you are.

Lair & I were actually getting into the Indians & for what? We betray our home state to get behind Losers!?

5:41 PM

Blogger Teacher Lady said...

In all honesty, every Red Sox fan I know is a douche bag. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. It is a scientific fact and you cannot argue with science.

12:57 AM

Blogger Joe said...

Or Casey Blake for that matter.

As bad as it was to watch the Indians, I'm not sure it matches the slow torture of watching my Mets choke away the division title and miss the playoffs entirely. I couldn't watch SportsCenter or read the paper for a week afterwards.

4:30 PM

Blogger may-b said...

I'm sorry your sports team died. I hope you can fill the void with beer and pizza. I hear it helps.

11:14 AM

Blogger Ky said...

Bron actually does swear at her dogs that much when they do dumb things. You should have heard her after Maddy stole her chicken fingers.

9:41 AM


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