chair today

I had bought my breakfast and returned to my desk humming some pleasing tune. My chair was rotated to the proper angle for me to place my ample ass upon it and enjoy my oatmeal/fruit-and-yogurt/Diet Dr. Pepper breakfast (but not mixed together).

Sometime after the initiation of the sitdown process, my hip hit the chair. I was already descending as the chair decided to take a short trip away from my derrière. Trouble this. Both my hands are occuppied, not situated in a position to easily drop their contents on my desk. My options? Few. The only I could discern was the reverse locomotion into the chair, hoping to drop somewhat down on the seat thereby minimizing the chair's reverse momentum (that is to say, momentum in a direction away from me). Physics considered, I acted.

Two choo-choos back I pushed down. 60% of my delectible can caught the chair. I staggered, rotated, make a weird grunting noise and turned in the chair until it stopped when my chest hit the desk. Safety. Snickering? None. I had pulled it off without any witnesses. Success is mine!