some things are better left unsaid

Writing is hard. Sometimes I'll sit down to post on this blog and I'll think to myself, "Maybe I shouldn't drink so much. Surely if I had more brain cells, I would be done blogging for the day. I've often wondered when I'll get my next beer. No, wait, not that. What was I thinking about? Pizza. That’s right. Should I get pizza for dinner tonight?" At any rate, sometimes I'll start writing something and then, you know, I think, "Wow. That really sucks." So, in that spirit, more blogging! No, here are some of my most recent partial posts that I decided against finishing:

• I've killed 3 men in my life . . .
• Stealing from the poor is supposed to be bad, but hey, they'd do the same to me and besides most of them are malnourished and weak. It's like taking candy from a baby, which reminds me of a story . . .
• Ingredients for a crazy night: one midget, surly; canola oil, 2 bottles; slip-n-slide; alcohol - copious amounts recommended; a clown if you can find one . . .
• If loving a Vietnamese hooker named Fredo is wrong, then I don't wanna be right . . .
• April 15th today. Is anyone really stupid enough to pay their taxes? I'd like to see the IRS catch me . . .
• Today the doctor explained to me that VD wasn't only an acronym for "vapor density" . . .
• You know what's fucking irritating? Illegitimate children. Wasn't the fact that I left your mother when she was pregnant a strong enough hint that I'm not down with the kid thing?