before there were blogs, I'd write letters to my friends about their band

Staff Infection
Cleveland, OH

Dear Staff Infection,

I have purchased your new album Simplify and Amplify (or Si/Am – plify as I like to call it). I’ve listened to and enjoyed your album a number of times. And I congratulate you on your work. I also have a few observations:

1.Overuse of the word cool.
The word “cool” is used no fewer than 10 times. A quick look at my thesaurus reveals the following synonyms: marvelous, dandy, divine, glorious, groovy, hunky-dory, keen, nifty, sensational, swell. Take for instance, this substitution: “who were there but his dandy friends” for “who were there but his cool friends.” I think nifty really puts that lyric over the top.

2.Manifold Influences.
Your bass solos remind me eerily of Violent Femmes, while your hard-drivin’ guitar-style stylings remind me of Husker Dü. YET, no songs remind me of the Pixies OR Bad Religion. Some drum parts remind me of MXPX – much to my chagrin. A lot of the singing reminds me of the obscure West Side band, Florie Dories and the famous child soloist Little Cousin Jimmy.

3.Sundry.
There was no song about the Ed S./8-Trax break-up. I found this quite disappointing. Those of us familiar with the unreleased works of 8-Trax/Wooden Bumper/Carnivorous Vegetarians were looking forward to at least a cover of “Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do” or a rendition of “Say It Ain’t So Nicole.” There is neither a song about monkeys nor a song about NHL ’94 (some possible titles includes: “YAH – B- C GOAL!” “Gotta Take Control” and “Sega Thumb.”) There is no ode to David W. and TP is surprisingly missing from the album’s contents.

All in all, it was a stunning first effort and you’ll do well to continue with this fine work.

Sincerely,



A Fan