gimme a break

I took Monday through Wednesday of this week off. Why? No big plans. At work they're all, "Use it or lose it," with the vacation, so I happily oblige.

Consequently, I feel like a total slacker. I haven't accomplished much. I caught up on some blog reading, filled the Brita, made a smoothie, watched some TV and I'll probably catch a Netflix later and maybe a little Monday Night Football - if I can fit it into my busy schedule.

The only thing I did all day that I can even pretend was constructive (besides sleep) was my trip to the grocery store. It was an uneventful excursion, but I did notice something troubling: Old people dominate the daylight hours. They are like some crazy breed of reverse vampires or something. Except garlic doesn't repel them! Scared of crucifixes - balderdash! They're off at sunrise to pray to the gods of gentrification. They are anti-cockroaches, scurrying into the sunlight, basking in it, letting their leathery pours soak it in. That's why they drive so slowly - more time for the pours. They walk kind of slow when they're out and about, mostly out of necessity. But they know stuff. The stuff they can remember at least. I like old people. I like that an old guy can flirt universally and with impunity and that old ladies can call all the young girls out for being strumpets. There's a certain charm in that.

Old people don't care if you make fun of them. They know what a dumbass you are and that you don't have everything figured out. Also sometimes they can't even hear your funny, funny jokes. That "knowing smile" can mean many things.

Old people - here's to being one myself some day.