The Hulk of Ad Hominem

I remember once, in college, (oh college, you seem so long ago) I was participating in a intramural soccer game, I believe. After the game, two guys were talking to each other:

guy1: Dude, you're like a skinny, goofy guy or something.
guy2: Dude, don't make fun of me. You'll piss me off and then I'll have to make fun of you.
guy1: Whatever Stretch. I'm sooooo scared.
guy2: I'm serious guy1. You don't want to piss me off.
guy1: Why not?
guy2: I will totally make fun of you. You don't want that!

They continued along these same lines for a good 5 minutes. guy1 continually trying to bait guy2 and guy2 getting more and more adamant that whatever verbal onslaught he unleashed would be so heinous so as to cause actual physical distress - or something. Even though I was the most casual of observers (in temperament and attire) I too was curious. What could this guy possibly say that would be so terrible? Then it occurred to me. Nothing. He just got so wrapped up in making threats about what he COULD say that he had nothing TO say. He had aggrandized his ability to insult SO much that he would need to make the kid's head explode and forever deafen those around him to reach the heights of his boasting. Instead, he should have initially said something like:

guy2: Dude, I'm like witty and stuff and I could hurt your feelings.

Once again we see that life is best lived through attainable goals.