my name is roger and i'm a deadbeat blogger . . .

But-but-but - we don't have the interwebs at home yet . . . or any TV channel other than FOX . . . or a fully-raked yard . . . or a moat full of alligators . . . but you know what we DO have? Wallpaper. Lots and lots of glorious wallpaper. And did I mention theMonica is morally opposed to wallpaper? I didn't? Well, there you have it. The devil is in the details.

I kid because the wallpaper is kind of floral and ugly. Some interesting design choices were made before we got there. We will be spending the remainder of our lives correcting some of those choices.

At any rate, I've been absent and judging by the 0 emails I've gotten about it, missed so deeply that you were too distraught to even write to ask if I was ok. I understand. The implications of any true harm to my person would have been impossible to comprehend. Fear not. I have much delight lined up when I have working intertubes. I'm going to go postal on your asses. You know, postal, as in generating a lot of posts "rapidly." You knew what I meant. Cheeky monkey.