Happy Groundhog Day!

For any land north of South Carolina, Ground Hog Day is a ridiculous farce. I can guarantee we are going to exceed the high end of that fuzzy little critter's meteorlogical prognostication. Six weeks of winter? Six weeks from now is March 16th. For serious, groundhog? It snows in May here sometimes.

The groundhog lives in Pennsylvania (the real one). It's not balmy palm tree land over there. I know; I've been. If I were Punxsutawney Phil and they pulled me out of my home, I'd be all, "It's freezing out here! For tooth's sake, put me back in my hole! Aren't I supposed to hibernating right now? Wake me when it's 60."

I want to believe in the Groundhog. If he didn't half-ass it, he could probably be a diety in a lot of religious sects. But instead he phones it in every year with his binary weather forecasting. Well I got news for you marmot - where I come from I'm looking at three months more of winter. Despite what you and your precious shadow may think.