we need to talk

Why haven't I blogged in a day? Well, did you think that maybe after hand-crafting three quality (of varying degrees) posts on Monday that I could just sustain that kind of prolificacy ad infinitum (or nauseum depending on your perspective)? Well, I can't. After that third, painfully inciteful "thought," which apparently the genius of which eveyone read in a stunned silence, unable to comment, I collapsed to the floor, sweating, in a lifeless heap, so strained were my dozens of remaining crainial neurons. It was blogging OD.

And then I thought, where's the payoff? I take on so much stress and pressure. What's my angle? What am I getting out of this? Not much really, other than carpal tunnel . . . thanks. You know, this isn't working out for me. Maybe we should see other people.

Oh, you know I'm kidding. I'm totally hooked on this blogging thing. Look at all the fame and riches that are showering down on me! I've been busy, you know? Besides, if I were really going to break up with you, I would change me URL and not return any of your calls and kind of pretend like you didn't exist. Then like three months from now, I'd drunk dial you and tell you how much I missed you. By then you would be over me, but you would still have the capacity to pity me. You wouldn't be totally mean, letting me cry on the phone, but hanging up when I invite you back. I would act like I didn't remember making the call. Six months later I would write you a letter apologizing for what a jerk I was. You would read it and smile, wondering, "What did I ever see in that blog?"

So, let's forget about all that and stay friends, ok?