probably because she doesn't want to talk to you
I get this call from "Private Number," which is usually one of my buddies, so I answer.
me: Hello.
Lady: May I speak with Susie Whatshertree?
me: She doesn't live here anymore.
suspiciousLady: Really? When did she move out?
me-Biographer: Oh, I don't know 9 months ago.
testyLady: Oh, is that right? Well, she left this number with us a couple of weeks ago as a contact number.
meAnnoyed: Well, ok, but she lived beneath me in a double house and she's gone now.
startingToGetSarcasticLady: Is that so? Well, let me give you our number so she can call us. And this call may be monitored for quality assurance.
mePatient: But she doesn't live here.
angeredLady: Why would she give us this number if she couldn't be reached here?
meThinking: I don't know.
feelingSmartLady: Well, let me know when you get that pen so you can take down our number.
meFearfulofLady;GrabbingPen: Ok. [It now makes me laugh that I agreed here.] But I should tell you that I don't talk to her.
seethingLady: Uh-huh and what is your name?
meSuspiciousButWTF: Roger ____.
surrenderingLady: Well, thank you Roger for your time.
This explains why I sometimes get calls for Susie Whatshertree. Some of them sound important too. Why can't she give out a 216-KL5-FAKE number like the rest of us?
posted by roger at 7:18 PM
7 Comments:
chicken! shoulda hung up on her...or asked her her name and number ...
9:36 PM
Funny. My old upstairs neighbor did the same thing. They don't believe I'm not his girlfriend. But when they insist that I am I give them a pretty good imitation of what she sounded like when they had sex.
I probably need help.
2:49 AM
It's because she has no imagination.
6:59 AM
One of my old roommates had some, ahem, credit card troubles, and the collectors used to call and yell at me and call me by her name even though I insisted that I was not her.
8:32 AM
That's not a real number? I've always wondered why every woman I speak to appears to live in the same house.
10:00 AM
my ex has been giving out my mother's home number and my work number -- it's been annoying as hell trying to convince them that he neither LIVES or WORKS at these numbers.
12:51 PM
I totally chickened out. I have a high tolerance for being walked all over.
I don't know why my former neighbor singled me out when she could have just picked any random number.
And if I were a girl, there would be no way she believed me.
3:49 PM
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