Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the debtor Ryan D

So, somebody that used to live here has been a baaaaaad boy. Apparently he doesn't pay his bills or change his address and/or used our phone number as his own (though that's probably a creative debt-collector guy shroom-induced fantasy).

We've gotten a number of calls concerning some debt he owes. I've talked to this dude and he knows who I am, i.e. know whose name the house is in now. Despite this (and the fact that I told him Ryan doesn't live here anymore) he is un-dissuaded from calling and leaving hilarious messages where he goes, "This call is for Ryan. If you are not Ryan, by law you must stop listening to the message now." He then continues to say how he's calling about some money and to rectify the situation to please call some such number. Of course, I'm guessing here because it is illegal for me to listen to my answering machine. In debt-collector guy world, it is impossible for me to hear the number to call in order to get him to leave me the f*k alone.

Ok, so I'm sure he gets it all the time. The guy owing money says he's not the guy that owes money, but instead a handsome, successful, hilarious guy named Roger. But that makes it no less annoying. Besides, it's public record that we bought this house like 6 months ago and that the number he HAD been calling probably was disconnected and then they found a new number for the last-known address -- WAIT! Let me check the attic! Ok, Ryan is not there either -- So, he doesn't live here, debt-collecting guy. I'm sorry you aren't going to get your money, I really amn't. I wish you many riches and that many people who newly owe you money aren't so elusive and so smart so as to move out of a place and not inform you. Seriously, only Matlock could solve such a mystery!

At any rate, I changed our outgoing message. It goes (and I'm paraphrasing myself paraphrasing a long script I wrote): You have reached the [redacted] and not the debtor Ryan D. If you would like to speak with Ryan, I suggest you find out where he really lives and call him there.

I'm helpful like that.

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Blogger Teacher Lady said...

My brother-in-law has been struggling with creditors because a dude that has the same name. They have kind of common name and no other personal information is the same so it is kind of stupid for the debit collectors to automatically assume they found the right person.

7:22 AM

Blogger Queen of West Procrastination said...

Yeah, I was about to make roughly the same comment (Chris and I are the ones dealing with a similar situation). Keep an eye on your credit report and make sure that the debt collector doesn't somehow decide that you are Ryan D, get your personal information, and have this debt pinned on you. Because this happened to us. And the collections agency is all "we are only using the information given to us by the phone company!" but the phone company said that the only information about Chris that matches the other dude is his name, which means the debt collectors somehow looked us up, found Chris, decided it was him, and submitted that information to the credit agency. Eeep.

10:14 AM

Anonymous TC said...

Rog, when I WAS debt-collector-guy, I would have totally enjoyed that outgoing message. I would have called back just to talk to you because I know we would have hit it off and become the best of friends. Then you would have delivered the best-est best man speech at MY wedding...oh wait. Anyway, you're funny. And those collectors will probably miss hearing your mahcine because the automated dialers that they use will click over to a real person after the beep. Maybe the computer will have a sense of humor.

4:05 PM


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