Thursday, July 10, 2008

the more you know . . . (as brought to you by Joe Garagiola)

My buddies and I went through a long "seeds" phase. We would often get together and sit around hanging out and there is no food more conducive to getting together and sitting around than sunflower seeds (and no better beverage than Dairyman's Iced Tea in the gallon jug). Anyway, we were always David sunflower seed kind of guys. It wasn't so much a conscious choice as David was usually the only kind of seeds the convenient stores stocked. And whoah, the mouth rot was mighty, but I was usually able to hike up the skirt and suck down pounds and pounds of the bad boys. All that salt could kind of funk up your inner cheek something fierce, but you'd wash it out with some of that tasty iced tea and you'd be good to go (to Perkins).

Many years passed until lately when I started getting back into sunflower seeds. But here at work, they don't sell David, they sell Frito-Lay. I'd been enjoying those and found myself thinking, "Wow. These seeds are much gentler on my seed hole. It takes much longer for mouth rot to set in." Then I started to think that didn't make much sense. Maybe my toughened mouth skin (?) was saving me from my previous ailment - probably the seeds were exactly the same, grown and packed by one giant seed conglomerate.

Or so I thought. Then I bought a big bucket of David seeds because they were on sale at the CVS. I ate a bunch and not only did the mouth rot return with a vengeance, but, much to the amusement of theMonica, the right side of my face swelled up - even when I didn't have seeds in there. I looked to be in a state of perpetual seed storage. I have learned that lesson: When Sunflower Seeds ==> Frito-Lay > David.

Next lesson - do I even need the seeds to be salted? Good question. So I did some research and bought some unsalted seeds at NutsOnline. Maybe you should too because, you know, somebody's nuts are on the line.



Blogger Alan said...

Mouth rot is the leading cause of typhoid fever. It's true. Look it up.

2:04 PM


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