:(

It is with great sadness that I write this post today from my lonely cubicle. Why great sadness? Well, because I’m HERE for one, this the prime week for missing work. In addition, did you hear that Nick and Jessica split up? For serious . . . and it doesn’t sound like they're trying to make it work out. WTF NJ? I thought your love was true.

I’m also a little sad because I’m not feeling well. I think due to chronic coughing I’ve started expectorating actual pieces of lung. If it gets any worse, I might have to start retrieving (for potential reattachment) that which I expel. I’m a little sad because if we still had “sick days” proper (and not a common pool of vacation/sick/personal days) I would totally not be here and probably wouldn’t be awake (and therefore) hungover.

I’m sad that my cube neighbor is not yet here. Not because I miss him (though if he NEVER showed-up I’m sure I would). But because it’s omelet bar day. Sometimes when I’m sitting here on Friday wondering where he is, hungering for my omelet, I wonder, “Why? Why am I waiting?” Then I remember that omelet bar is like war and you can leave no man behind. You don’t want to wait in omelet line by yourself and have to endure Laughing Chef’s inaudible jokes without a wing man. You see, after he tells one of his inaudible jokes he starts laughing uncontrollably and you are therefore forced to laugh as well, wanting to avoid the awkwardness of not laughing and not wanting to interrupt his joy with the impertinence of, “WTF did you say?” Laughing Chef is the funniest person he knows. Laughing Chef is like the 4,529th funniest person I know. I only know like 4600 people.

I’m a little sad that whenever I send an email today I will be bombarded with out-of-office messages. How about a bombardment of hugs? Ever think about that? That would be much nicer.

I’m a little sad that I’ll have to eat all the candies and cookies on the community food cabinet. I won’t be sad at first, but gradually, after the guilt and fat sets in.

One thing I’m NOT sad about is that it’s Friday . . . woot! And that I have a three-day weekend . . . double woot! And that Saturday is New Year’s Eve . . . triple woot! And that Sunday morning will come down . . . quad woots! Oh wait, no, that might be a little rough, but at least it’ll be for a good cause.

Ok, I’m actually not sad at all. Since I have all you fine folks here. God bless and here's to 2006!