Methinks it time

King of Pop Abdicates Throne

King of Pop Landia, His Royal Highness Michael I of the House of Jackson is set to step down from his throne. Citing "personal reasons", his majesty will no longer be able to rule benevolently (albiet creepily) over his subjects. Presently it is unclear who will succeed him in ruling the Land of Pop.

Poplandia is in very grave danger of engaging in battle with southern neighbor CountryMusic Landia. Due to the dire circumstances, the people of Poplandia were shocked to find out their leader was abandoning them. Beer wench Dolpha was irate and more than a little bit hairy saying, “That bastard! The armies of CountryMusic Landia are on our doorstep and he is abdicating the throne? Sir Toby Keith has assembled a mighty force of rootin', tootin' warriors. They have cavalries of pick-ups, stocked fully with kegs and shotguns. Who will lead us in our time of need, Queen Latifah?”

Tries at mediation have been futile. Duchess of Dublin, Ashlee Simpson, made numerous attempts to get both sides of the dispute to the negotiating table. “Even before King Michael announced his abdication, he was holed up in NeverLand, never talking and never coming out. I thought perhaps that if I sang very loudly within the walls of NeverLand castle I could drive him from his bed, but, he was impervious to my assaults.”

Godfather of Soul James Brown, prominent Poplandia businessman, seemed disappointed in the King's decision, “When was the last time the King of Pop came to my home for dinner? Surely, I could have helped him manage his predicament."